All 13 movie Reviews


Rated 2 / 5 stars

Please people...

Okay.. I'll give you credit for this... you didn't completely throw together some junk without any thought.. you spent SOME time on this... but not nearly enough.

I was waiting to see something funny enough for me to fall over backwards, instead, all I cringed at the crummy sound files, and the shitty animation. Okay.. Janet Reno at the wedding was funny... but I hate to say this.. it was the funniest part of the movie.

Next time, don't slap poorly animated pictures together, and add some integrity.

Then I'm sure you'll have an awesome movie!

"trapped" "trapped"

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Against the Crowd

This was truly amazing. Beyond the drop-dead cool animations, this movie did more than just prove the fact that the portal is a collection of tasteless material. It is one of the first movies to actually evoke emotion. And it did it successfully. A "caring" film on Newgrounds... it sounds so oxymoronic...... maybe this movie may make that a thing of the past!

Metallicrap - Lars Speaks Metallicrap - Lars Speaks

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Would've been funny if....

Okay. First off of the bat, this is too close to both the Assassin parody, and the Camp Chaos Parody. As a matter of fact, anyone who who sees this can TELL it is based on the Camp Chaos parody! So you'll have to find a way to make yours a tad less than the one at Camp Chaos.

And another thing... the Romp contracts it's cartoons. The Romp didn't make "Napster Bad." It just showed it on it's site. Can I clear that up?

Metallicrap Metallicrap

Rated 2 / 5 stars

What This Is

Okay. Before you go ahead, and give this movie a 0, or a 1, realize this. This, while it may be far from the best portal movie ever (No.. No... not the movie... I'm talking in general!) There's a storyline here. This is another confession of Metalligreed's hippocracy! Any Metallica fan that still exists needs to get a rude awakening. As the band Motley Crue expressed in their super-well animated film from Camp Chaos, Metallica didn't sue Napster because they were poor, they sued their fans, to get media attention for their summer concert. And this movie, is the direct result. Okay... so it's a little crummy in animation... okay... really crummy. But some effort was put into this. Realize that.

And you metallica fans, you'll LOVE this site - !

I am the Walrus I am the Walrus

Rated 3 / 5 stars

A Drug Simulator

For all of those who could never understand the song: "I am the Walrus" (which is just about EVERYONE ) this video was really a good idea. I liked the psycho look to everything, but some areas looked very cheap, or recycled. Then other areas really looked good! I would fix that text on the bottom. It didn't work at all, having it in "sing-a-long" style at the bottom, but you do need some words in there. That would take creativity.

Some minor touching up, and this could really be cool!


Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Let's think this through here...

Ok... Ok... the drawing is decent... but I am forced to give this a 3. Why? Okay.. this could be twice as funny, if there was a good animation to go with this. Instead, there's a 3-frame animation, and the sound isn't even synced. This took less than half an hour to make. And there are better versions of this in the portal.

!! UNCLE FUCKA !! (fixed) !! UNCLE FUCKA !! (fixed)

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars


(Parody Lyrics)

This is fucking crap H_CORE_KILLER,
You've got crap for animation H CORE KILLER,
Your movie sucks and yes it's sad,
It's a rip off south park that's bad!

And so on.

Why the hell is this so high in the portal? You took someone elses cartoon (South Park) Added Anal Sex, and crappy animation, and what? It's in the weekly top 10? Whoever voted this a 5, needs to get banned from the portal. NQA.

And if you're gonna make fun of anyone in the portal, they'll probably make one of you... only it will be better animated!

Elian - Wazzup!!! Elian - Wazzup!!!

Rated 5 / 5 stars

When Enough Is Enough

This was the first portal entry I ever saw... and liked. Back then, it was in the top 10. Now it keeps getting lower on the list, and eventually, it will be off of the Top 100. Why? Well, the Wazzup thing got out of hand. Now everyone hates them, so likely, this excellent entry is suffering.

And it shouldn't be!

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Coconuts Coconuts

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Monty Python & The Review

This movie is set up similarly to the over-rated History of Fuck. It's not hand-drawn, and simply uses moving pictures, and comes from a sound file.

But the similarity stops there. This movie is certainly more deserving of it's position than History of Fuck. Why? For one, the animation, while still corny, it's just right for this kind of movie. The entire idea of it was created by Dim Light Studios, and I especially like the joke with Bill Clinton starting it off.

History of fuck! History of fuck!

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

How the Cheap Stuff gets there.

This is not a bad movie. It's funny. It's just lacking of talent, and it's certainly not deserving of it's number 4 spot. But it has a reason to be in the number 4 spot! It has the word "Fuck" in it! Wow! That makes a bad portal movie good! The same goes for Porn! Add porn to any Portal entry, and watch it get in the top 100!

Sure this movie is funny, but the only thing funny about it, is the sound file, which came from someone else. (so I think) The movie that should be up here, is Professor Bobby Knight, Which will soon be like the classics: Souped-Up Civic, And Blanco Y Negro , which are terrible under rated!